Dear showerhead, our relationship wasn't sustainable.
Did you know that masturbating in the shower uses enough water to fill 121 Olympic-sized swimming pools every year?
Luckily there’s a better way to masturbate, for us and for the planet.
This World Environmental Day, we are encouraging everyone to swap the way they masturbate and choose a sustainable sex toy.
Break up with your showerhead.
You’ve moved on, now it’s time for the showerheads to do it too.
Here are the 5 Stages of a (showerhead) Breakup, and how to handle them.
Stage 1: Denial
“Wasteful…” she called me… wasteful…
I’m not wasteful. Sure maybe I get her wetter than necessary, but she used to love it. I mean, sure, we were indulgent together, but wasteful? How many millions of litres of water are wasted doing the dishes, or washing the car, or watering the plants? I’M wasteful!? This isn’t happening.
Dump it for:
Stage 2: Bargaining
Wait, wait! I can change! I can use less water!
Please, it doesn’t need to be like this. You always loved my showerhead. Do you want me to vibrate? I can learn to vibrate. It’s easy, I’ll vibrate every day. Just give me one more chance.
Dump it for:
Stage 3: Anger
She said our relationship wasn’t sustainable. You know what I think about that?
%&/£!!!. &%£@#!!!!!!!! Sustainability my #&$! And that £%@&!! sex toy %&@!
I HATE IT!
Dump it for:
Stage 4: Sadness
wahhhhhhhhhhh, whyyyyyy wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh we were meant to be forever!
wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhwahwahhhhh
Dump it for:
Stage 5: Acceptance
I guess it’s best for both of us… I mean… our relationship wasn’t sustainable anyways.
I hope she’s happier now. With her new sex toy. Or as she likes to call him… her new “toyfriend”. Yuck. I’ll get over it…
Dump it for:
As seen in
